28th August 2006,
5.43pm, Monday. Today is a very busy day- running up and down, discuss on the Pharmacy Reno and design. Very tired and sleepy. Got headache till it reached my eyes. Now looking at the computer, tired.
Yup, I'm going Singapore tomorrow 8.30pm bus. Expected to reach Singapore the next day morning. Yes, my 2nd trip. 1st trip by SIA flight to NCC for attachment, then this time is just some sort of holidays. I hope it's a holidays, hope won't ended up getting more tired. I don't really like travelling- but since I have passport can just make use of my passport, and can meet up sister. Has not been traveling with bus for years, I've just prepared myself few tabs of Dramamine and Pharmaton, hopefully it will help my motion sickness and tiredness. Quite a last minute thing, we don't really plan- Marcus suggested to go, and we join in...so last minute but thank God my boss approve the leave. Hopefully things will be well....
Monday, August 28, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Rev Roy Durman Healing Rally
23th August 2006,
5.29pm Tuesday. Today time flies, we had IT training for our new Hospital Information System, e-THIS. Just brush up on few Drug Master and to know the feature before we go LIVE. Yes, am excited. A system will never be perfect, there's pro and cons. A bit not flexible, but okay. Praise God the staff are positive to learn. I hope not to get much complaint...hopefully things will work out well.
Last Sat is healing rally by Rev Roy Durman. I did not attend the Friday session. It's 3-days (Thurs, Fri, Sat) but I only attend the last day. I believe in healing. I believe God can heal. God is the healer. Each time talking about healing, I just reflect back the experience with daddy. Fighting cancer, battling with cancer wasn't a good experience at all. It leave a mark in my life. Not entirely a painful mark, yes-indeed it's so painful, seeing your love one suffer and in pain. I remember how I question God, how much tears have I shed, literally crying myself to sleep. Praying pressing on, yet it doesn't seem to see the improvement, but daddy condition getting worse till his last breathe. I can feel how painful it was. But the only encouraging experience is Daddy last word before his final time: "The Lord is my Lord and Savior". That is the only happy ending. Tears shed, pain and sadness mixed with joy. We're crying seeing Daddy leaving us, but Daddy is crying because he's gonna be with God.
Indeed the experience is deep. I'm in medical background, I hope with my knowledge of medical equation, my faith will still stand strong. Yes, God can heal, and we are to pray..and God hear our prayer, and answer according to His will. The healing rally is awesome, it's an eye opener for me to see with my own 2 eys so many people received healing. I'm helping in Testimony Team, where we're to write up testimony of those who's healed. Praise God! Indeed it's not man's work, but it's God's work. He is the same Yesterday, Today, and Forever. He healed in the Ancient time, yes- now He can heal too.
The blind can see, the lame can walk, Amen, Amen, Amen! I seen an old man in wheelchair able to walk again. After being prayed over, the pastor asked him to come out of the wheelchair and he did, and he can walk, he can jump, he can run. The man got accident 15 years ago with left eye blinded because of the accident, got healed. "I was blind but now I can see" Amen! A man with one leg shorter than another now became normal. A young girl with squint eyes now back to normal, Awesome! So many people rushing through to be prayed for, so many needs, so many non-believers that need the "Hope".
Abba Father, I believe in You Lord, You are the ame Yesterday, Today, and Forever. Thank You for Your work- healing people, thank You for revealing to me so many needs of the people. Yes, Lord, people need the Lord...people need You Lord. So many people need You. Father, help me to be the light wherever I go..so that people can see You through me Lord. Yes Father, I wanna follow You, just to follow You and You'll make me fisher of men. Amen!
5.29pm Tuesday. Today time flies, we had IT training for our new Hospital Information System, e-THIS. Just brush up on few Drug Master and to know the feature before we go LIVE. Yes, am excited. A system will never be perfect, there's pro and cons. A bit not flexible, but okay. Praise God the staff are positive to learn. I hope not to get much complaint...hopefully things will work out well.
Last Sat is healing rally by Rev Roy Durman. I did not attend the Friday session. It's 3-days (Thurs, Fri, Sat) but I only attend the last day. I believe in healing. I believe God can heal. God is the healer. Each time talking about healing, I just reflect back the experience with daddy. Fighting cancer, battling with cancer wasn't a good experience at all. It leave a mark in my life. Not entirely a painful mark, yes-indeed it's so painful, seeing your love one suffer and in pain. I remember how I question God, how much tears have I shed, literally crying myself to sleep. Praying pressing on, yet it doesn't seem to see the improvement, but daddy condition getting worse till his last breathe. I can feel how painful it was. But the only encouraging experience is Daddy last word before his final time: "The Lord is my Lord and Savior". That is the only happy ending. Tears shed, pain and sadness mixed with joy. We're crying seeing Daddy leaving us, but Daddy is crying because he's gonna be with God.
Indeed the experience is deep. I'm in medical background, I hope with my knowledge of medical equation, my faith will still stand strong. Yes, God can heal, and we are to pray..and God hear our prayer, and answer according to His will. The healing rally is awesome, it's an eye opener for me to see with my own 2 eys so many people received healing. I'm helping in Testimony Team, where we're to write up testimony of those who's healed. Praise God! Indeed it's not man's work, but it's God's work. He is the same Yesterday, Today, and Forever. He healed in the Ancient time, yes- now He can heal too.
The blind can see, the lame can walk, Amen, Amen, Amen! I seen an old man in wheelchair able to walk again. After being prayed over, the pastor asked him to come out of the wheelchair and he did, and he can walk, he can jump, he can run. The man got accident 15 years ago with left eye blinded because of the accident, got healed. "I was blind but now I can see" Amen! A man with one leg shorter than another now became normal. A young girl with squint eyes now back to normal, Awesome! So many people rushing through to be prayed for, so many needs, so many non-believers that need the "Hope".
Abba Father, I believe in You Lord, You are the ame Yesterday, Today, and Forever. Thank You for Your work- healing people, thank You for revealing to me so many needs of the people. Yes, Lord, people need the Lord...people need You Lord. So many people need You. Father, help me to be the light wherever I go..so that people can see You through me Lord. Yes Father, I wanna follow You, just to follow You and You'll make me fisher of men. Amen!
Monday, August 14, 2006
Touch N Go ?
14th August 2006,
5.14pm Monday Cool. Yeah, busy weekends. Whole day Saturday working and CVS conference. Yes, learned a lot, but still so tiring. Sleep the earliest ever 10pm already knock off. Sunday conference continued on....till lunch, then Family Day. Tiring yet fulfilling. This year we don't have Family Camp, so Family Day organised in Penang to cater more members to participate. My team (Yellow) won 3rd Prize.
Yeah, I join Mawar Team. Had been questioned many many times, a lot people has been asking me which Cell have I decided to join. Each time the question posted, I felt just speechless. By my floating, will I be aencouraging others to float to other Cell? Will my act giving approval to others that it's okie to float? Yeah, Andrew has been asking me many times, whether to join JOC, Jon asked, Ps. Sam asked. I really don't know. At this point I'm quite comfortable going around CGs, getting to know more people, exposing myself to different types of CGs. Andrew point out one thing, quite strong Word, but it's true: "Touch and Go". Am I touching and just go? Not settling down and grow. True indeed. Maybe I am still struggling on myself- just don't want to decide too fast and want more 'resting' time. Well...I don't think anyone can identify with such feeling. I told others- hmmm....will decide soon, will decide soon, probably end of the year. Well, maybe I'm just too selfish, keep delaying. Yet I'm assured the time will come for me to find the place of belonging, a place to settle down, grow and serve again...it's just a matter of the right time, right place. Just need to be prayerful, and look forward. God-driven and not Man-driven.
5.14pm Monday Cool. Yeah, busy weekends. Whole day Saturday working and CVS conference. Yes, learned a lot, but still so tiring. Sleep the earliest ever 10pm already knock off. Sunday conference continued on....till lunch, then Family Day. Tiring yet fulfilling. This year we don't have Family Camp, so Family Day organised in Penang to cater more members to participate. My team (Yellow) won 3rd Prize.
Yeah, I join Mawar Team. Had been questioned many many times, a lot people has been asking me which Cell have I decided to join. Each time the question posted, I felt just speechless. By my floating, will I be aencouraging others to float to other Cell? Will my act giving approval to others that it's okie to float? Yeah, Andrew has been asking me many times, whether to join JOC, Jon asked, Ps. Sam asked. I really don't know. At this point I'm quite comfortable going around CGs, getting to know more people, exposing myself to different types of CGs. Andrew point out one thing, quite strong Word, but it's true: "Touch and Go". Am I touching and just go? Not settling down and grow. True indeed. Maybe I am still struggling on myself- just don't want to decide too fast and want more 'resting' time. Well...I don't think anyone can identify with such feeling. I told others- hmmm....will decide soon, will decide soon, probably end of the year. Well, maybe I'm just too selfish, keep delaying. Yet I'm assured the time will come for me to find the place of belonging, a place to settle down, grow and serve again...it's just a matter of the right time, right place. Just need to be prayerful, and look forward. God-driven and not Man-driven.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Hospital Visit to General Hospital Penang
6th August, 2006
Hospital Visit Report (extracted from Roland's mail)
Participants: Shirley Moy, Benji, Cindy Chan, Yueh Nee, Alex Teh, Lionel Koh, Jason Nga, Patras Masih, Andrew Khoo, Shiao Yen, Phei Phei, Deborah Nga, Jason Lee, Helena Wong, Ai Ling, Roland Tang
Time: 4:30pm to 6.30pm
The Group who visited the GH on Sunday (08/06)
Purpose and Objective
To bring a group out to be exposed to doing evangelistic efforts in the hospital, for the zone members to work together, share the Good News of Jesus in the hospital, and hope to those who were losing them. The work consists of primarily 3 cell groups (A2J, Jars of Clay and Zion). We also had the pleasure of Benji (CGL for Desa-U) to support the work.
The Evening
The group first started assembling at the front of Pekaka Square, at the foyer, from 4pm. We were slightly delayed as some came in late. The briefing was done by Roland at 4.25pm, and these were the points:
The visit is to see the needy in the hospital, to share the Good News where possible to the patients
To bring hope to those who were losing them
Before we departed from Pekaka Square, we all prayed, holding hands, to ask God to grant us boldness and strength to share the Good News and the hope that abides in us. We also prayed for unity, that there would be no confusion from the whole arrangement, but the complementing of strength, one for another.
We arrived at the hospital at 5.10pm. This is where the pairings were done.
The pairings are:
Jason Nga & Tan Phei Phei
Shirley Moy, Yueh Nee and Jason Lee
Benji and Ai Ling
Deborah an Helena
Lionel and Alex
Cindy, Andrew and Shiao Yen
Patras and Roland
We were divided to the different floor of Block C, where the general ward was. Lionel, Alex, Cindy, Andrew and Shiao Yen did the children’s ward, while the others focused on the adults.
There was quite a fair bit of ground covered. Many patients were ministered to. Many prayers were offered for the patients, to ask for God’s healing and His salvation.
Some highlights:
1 salvation recorded – an Indian man named Selva Kumar
16 prayers lifted for the sick and needy
6 of the children were prayed for/over
Lowlights:
5 refused prayer, because of the faith incompatibility
Insufficient time (time management, and also visiting hours limitation)
What we found from the visit?
Most patients we approached were open and willing to share, because they needed someone they could talk to. (Generally, we approached those who were lonely)
Some of them have been in the hospital for quite sometime, perhaps 1 month or even months. We managed to find Helen (the girl from Wesley in coma) – she seemed more receptive, when asked to be prayed over, she blinked her eye.
One woman had a lot of needs (looking for clothes and pampers) as she had some urinary problems (always wetting the bed).
What can we do better?
For certain, we needed to improve on time (punctuality). It would have been better if the visiting hours were longer. And of course, if we observed time.
Language – Some pairings did not have strong language commands in the dialects (especially Hokkien). Need to work on this.
Prepare name cards that would point patients to the church, for some form of follow up to be done.
A little gift for the patients would be nice.
Mental preparation – adequate training to be given before the visit would surely help to cover more grounds.
We noted that there were lots of needs. Some patients asked for material support, to aid their need. Some sought prayer. We managed to pray for at least 1 Malay man, and shared the hope of Jesus.
Conclusion
This is surely an opening by exposing the many facets of ministry in service, to open to the ministry of evangelism.
By means of this, it is hopeful that it would spur or motivate us to more evangelism to the less fortunate in the near future.
Prayer
Father, we thank You for a wonderful and fruitful ministry with the patients in the hospital. Indeed we know that You were with us, and for us, to help us and guide us in what we needed to do. And now we give You praise, because we have heard so many testimonies of Your faithfulness. Thank You for being our help in the time of need, we are grateful. We ask that You will continue to inspire us, and move in us with compassion to bring hope to those who are in need of hope in the hospital. Move our hearts, that our hearts may beat with Yours. We thank You, and pray all these, in Jesus most precious and wonderful name, Amen!
Hospital Visit Report (extracted from Roland's mail)
Participants: Shirley Moy, Benji, Cindy Chan, Yueh Nee, Alex Teh, Lionel Koh, Jason Nga, Patras Masih, Andrew Khoo, Shiao Yen, Phei Phei, Deborah Nga, Jason Lee, Helena Wong, Ai Ling, Roland Tang
Time: 4:30pm to 6.30pm
The Group who visited the GH on Sunday (08/06)
Purpose and Objective
To bring a group out to be exposed to doing evangelistic efforts in the hospital, for the zone members to work together, share the Good News of Jesus in the hospital, and hope to those who were losing them. The work consists of primarily 3 cell groups (A2J, Jars of Clay and Zion). We also had the pleasure of Benji (CGL for Desa-U) to support the work.
The Evening
The group first started assembling at the front of Pekaka Square, at the foyer, from 4pm. We were slightly delayed as some came in late. The briefing was done by Roland at 4.25pm, and these were the points:
The visit is to see the needy in the hospital, to share the Good News where possible to the patients
To bring hope to those who were losing them
Before we departed from Pekaka Square, we all prayed, holding hands, to ask God to grant us boldness and strength to share the Good News and the hope that abides in us. We also prayed for unity, that there would be no confusion from the whole arrangement, but the complementing of strength, one for another.
We arrived at the hospital at 5.10pm. This is where the pairings were done.
The pairings are:
Jason Nga & Tan Phei Phei
Shirley Moy, Yueh Nee and Jason Lee
Benji and Ai Ling
Deborah an Helena
Lionel and Alex
Cindy, Andrew and Shiao Yen
Patras and Roland
We were divided to the different floor of Block C, where the general ward was. Lionel, Alex, Cindy, Andrew and Shiao Yen did the children’s ward, while the others focused on the adults.
There was quite a fair bit of ground covered. Many patients were ministered to. Many prayers were offered for the patients, to ask for God’s healing and His salvation.
Some highlights:
1 salvation recorded – an Indian man named Selva Kumar
16 prayers lifted for the sick and needy
6 of the children were prayed for/over
Lowlights:
5 refused prayer, because of the faith incompatibility
Insufficient time (time management, and also visiting hours limitation)
What we found from the visit?
Most patients we approached were open and willing to share, because they needed someone they could talk to. (Generally, we approached those who were lonely)
Some of them have been in the hospital for quite sometime, perhaps 1 month or even months. We managed to find Helen (the girl from Wesley in coma) – she seemed more receptive, when asked to be prayed over, she blinked her eye.
One woman had a lot of needs (looking for clothes and pampers) as she had some urinary problems (always wetting the bed).
What can we do better?
For certain, we needed to improve on time (punctuality). It would have been better if the visiting hours were longer. And of course, if we observed time.
Language – Some pairings did not have strong language commands in the dialects (especially Hokkien). Need to work on this.
Prepare name cards that would point patients to the church, for some form of follow up to be done.
A little gift for the patients would be nice.
Mental preparation – adequate training to be given before the visit would surely help to cover more grounds.
We noted that there were lots of needs. Some patients asked for material support, to aid their need. Some sought prayer. We managed to pray for at least 1 Malay man, and shared the hope of Jesus.
Conclusion
This is surely an opening by exposing the many facets of ministry in service, to open to the ministry of evangelism.
By means of this, it is hopeful that it would spur or motivate us to more evangelism to the less fortunate in the near future.
Prayer
Father, we thank You for a wonderful and fruitful ministry with the patients in the hospital. Indeed we know that You were with us, and for us, to help us and guide us in what we needed to do. And now we give You praise, because we have heard so many testimonies of Your faithfulness. Thank You for being our help in the time of need, we are grateful. We ask that You will continue to inspire us, and move in us with compassion to bring hope to those who are in need of hope in the hospital. Move our hearts, that our hearts may beat with Yours. We thank You, and pray all these, in Jesus most precious and wonderful name, Amen!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
An eventful Sunday III
8th August 2006,
5.18pm. Tuesday. Yes, I'm still in the office. Want to blog down the incidence on Sunday before logging off. Today was alright, training up Raz for CDR in the morning, then afternoon went for Physio and Anaes. Meeting.
Sunday was indeed a great experience. We went for Hospital visitation, initiated by Roland and Deborah. It's not my first time of such visitation, but most of my hospital visitation is visiting Christian. I remember 2 years back I do visit my staff's son who undergo operation because of his uneven kidney, which cause infection and impairment. It takes lots of boldness to ask if I can pray for the little boy. Praise God, the mother is quite open and allowed me to lay hands and pray. The last time I ever pray for sick people was in Lam Wah Ee, visiting Yueh Nee's mum which diagnosed with breast cancer.
But this hospital visitation is different. We're going in the General Hospital into the wards, with empty hands, but just with a heart to search out to bring hope to the patients. It's not only takes courage and such boldness to walk to patients bed and introduce ourselves, but it also bring our heart to feel for them, to have the love, to bring hope to the hopeless and needy. Evangelism, speaking out with love, introducing people to the love and hope we ave in Christ. It's very encouraging when the patients openned to us, allowing us to pray for them. One opportunity after the other,..the harvest is plentiful, very much plentiful but the workers are few. It's the sense of joy and satisfaction, seeing the reaping of one soul. Praise God, Benji lead one patient to Christ, it's awesome! The whole heaven rejoices! I'm so encouraged, we should have challenged Aunty Naya to accept Christ...anyhow, it's all by the move of the Spirit. All glory to Him. It was truly an eventful Sunday- we look forward for the next trip.
In the evening we went for Mrs. Chan's funeral. It's a sudden news. Mrs. Chan has been with us since the early startoff of EPCC, in the old Sanctuary. I can still remember Mrs. Chan accepted Christ, learning to grow thru' her Christian life, learning to pray, and loving God. And I'm so encouraged to see Un. Ronnie accepted Christ after a while. Yes, we're in the Usher team, she's a wonderful lady, always giving her best in the little thing she can do. Ever faithful servant, a women after God's own heart- childlike and faithful. Her life is a testimony to a lot of people...
Ponder through life,....the cycle of life. I've lost my Daddy, and I missed him so so much. Yes, "berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu dipikul". It won't be easy for the family, but I believe with God's grace things will able to work out well. All things work for good for those who love God...There's always a silver lining below the clouds. Life goes on...We got to live a purposeful life. I prayed for Mum, she's the one and only I have right now. Seeing her getting older really make my heart ache. Last night she said she urinate blood. I was afraid, I don't want to see anything ever happen to her. Praise God, I just called- she said she's alright, urine clear and it's normal. Yes, even though sometimes I do argue and quarel with mummy, but Mummy still mummy...even tho' we quarel, things will get back well the next day. I got to evaluate how I treated Mum...no more with expectation, but to expect myself to do the best I can for her...Yes, Mummy I love you!
5.18pm. Tuesday. Yes, I'm still in the office. Want to blog down the incidence on Sunday before logging off. Today was alright, training up Raz for CDR in the morning, then afternoon went for Physio and Anaes. Meeting.
Sunday was indeed a great experience. We went for Hospital visitation, initiated by Roland and Deborah. It's not my first time of such visitation, but most of my hospital visitation is visiting Christian. I remember 2 years back I do visit my staff's son who undergo operation because of his uneven kidney, which cause infection and impairment. It takes lots of boldness to ask if I can pray for the little boy. Praise God, the mother is quite open and allowed me to lay hands and pray. The last time I ever pray for sick people was in Lam Wah Ee, visiting Yueh Nee's mum which diagnosed with breast cancer.
But this hospital visitation is different. We're going in the General Hospital into the wards, with empty hands, but just with a heart to search out to bring hope to the patients. It's not only takes courage and such boldness to walk to patients bed and introduce ourselves, but it also bring our heart to feel for them, to have the love, to bring hope to the hopeless and needy. Evangelism, speaking out with love, introducing people to the love and hope we ave in Christ. It's very encouraging when the patients openned to us, allowing us to pray for them. One opportunity after the other,..the harvest is plentiful, very much plentiful but the workers are few. It's the sense of joy and satisfaction, seeing the reaping of one soul. Praise God, Benji lead one patient to Christ, it's awesome! The whole heaven rejoices! I'm so encouraged, we should have challenged Aunty Naya to accept Christ...anyhow, it's all by the move of the Spirit. All glory to Him. It was truly an eventful Sunday- we look forward for the next trip.
In the evening we went for Mrs. Chan's funeral. It's a sudden news. Mrs. Chan has been with us since the early startoff of EPCC, in the old Sanctuary. I can still remember Mrs. Chan accepted Christ, learning to grow thru' her Christian life, learning to pray, and loving God. And I'm so encouraged to see Un. Ronnie accepted Christ after a while. Yes, we're in the Usher team, she's a wonderful lady, always giving her best in the little thing she can do. Ever faithful servant, a women after God's own heart- childlike and faithful. Her life is a testimony to a lot of people...
Ponder through life,....the cycle of life. I've lost my Daddy, and I missed him so so much. Yes, "berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu dipikul". It won't be easy for the family, but I believe with God's grace things will able to work out well. All things work for good for those who love God...There's always a silver lining below the clouds. Life goes on...We got to live a purposeful life. I prayed for Mum, she's the one and only I have right now. Seeing her getting older really make my heart ache. Last night she said she urinate blood. I was afraid, I don't want to see anything ever happen to her. Praise God, I just called- she said she's alright, urine clear and it's normal. Yes, even though sometimes I do argue and quarel with mummy, but Mummy still mummy...even tho' we quarel, things will get back well the next day. I got to evaluate how I treated Mum...no more with expectation, but to expect myself to do the best I can for her...Yes, Mummy I love you!
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Heal me O Lord, and I will be Healed, Save me and I will be saved..
5th August 2006,
1.00pm, Saturday. Yeah, it's time to go home. Saturday half day. Tired, body aching. Pain at my left heel, intensified during walking and after waking up in the morning. Dr. George said X-Ray shown spondilytis (tiny spur) seen at the heel, but the pelvic bone shown normal. Can't believe as such age can get spur, usually spur happen in elderly. Oh dear, that means aging process is really happening. Reaching 30's...really really can't believe it. With such age, body really weaken. Mum always nag me for not taking good care of myself: didn't wear proper shoes, don't take much fruits and vege, sleep so late, don't want to see doc, bla bla bla...I don't seem to improve even after the nagging. But now, when seeing a lot bad result, I begin to get scared. Few days ago, I went for Blood check. It's annual Blood check for those doing CDR: FBC, LFT, BUSE. The others level is good, normal range, but my LFT is high, ALT: 69, AST: 41. I got a shock, how can my liver been deteriorating. I'm quite worried, called up Dr. George, he said probably because stress or other drugs that I've been taking. Funny to think about it, I don't take much drugs, neither do I have much stress. Hmmm...reflecting back my pass medical history, so far not much of problem. Yeah, my dad have liver problem, but I've taken Hepatitis B vaccination.
A few times I felt chest pain and bones pain all over. There's one incident wake up can't able to breath. O Lord, I need Your healing hands. Lord heal me, I pray. Heal me O Lord, and I will be healed, save me and I will be saved...this is my prayer...in You I find strength and help in times of need.
1.00pm, Saturday. Yeah, it's time to go home. Saturday half day. Tired, body aching. Pain at my left heel, intensified during walking and after waking up in the morning. Dr. George said X-Ray shown spondilytis (tiny spur) seen at the heel, but the pelvic bone shown normal. Can't believe as such age can get spur, usually spur happen in elderly. Oh dear, that means aging process is really happening. Reaching 30's...really really can't believe it. With such age, body really weaken. Mum always nag me for not taking good care of myself: didn't wear proper shoes, don't take much fruits and vege, sleep so late, don't want to see doc, bla bla bla...I don't seem to improve even after the nagging. But now, when seeing a lot bad result, I begin to get scared. Few days ago, I went for Blood check. It's annual Blood check for those doing CDR: FBC, LFT, BUSE. The others level is good, normal range, but my LFT is high, ALT: 69, AST: 41. I got a shock, how can my liver been deteriorating. I'm quite worried, called up Dr. George, he said probably because stress or other drugs that I've been taking. Funny to think about it, I don't take much drugs, neither do I have much stress. Hmmm...reflecting back my pass medical history, so far not much of problem. Yeah, my dad have liver problem, but I've taken Hepatitis B vaccination.
A few times I felt chest pain and bones pain all over. There's one incident wake up can't able to breath. O Lord, I need Your healing hands. Lord heal me, I pray. Heal me O Lord, and I will be healed, save me and I will be saved...this is my prayer...in You I find strength and help in times of need.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Succesful discussion, Praise God!
3th August 2006,
5.28pm, Thurs. Waiting to go to Pfizer talk. Today is okie. Had a discussion with Mr Koh and Ivan regarding repositioning of counters. Earlier on, Ivan insisted to maintain counter 1, 4 and 8. But I have different proposal, to help the Pharmacy staff work more efficiently. Yeap, the discussion was alright, praise God! Mr. Koh was pretty supportive, with his presence a lot things able to be settled well. Finally I manage to kill 2 birds with one stone. We have decided to reposition the counters, not only the Dispensing Counters but also the Cashiers..and to renovate the area, gonna have a new look. I hope the solution that we have come out with will come to pass, not just mere talking. I really hope the management will do what they had promised. Today was alright, discussion is good, work as usual. Waiting for Pfizer talk later in the evening, not sure what I'm gonna do here. Another 2 hours to go, so doing some blogging. Celina went back yesterday, with Brandon. Hmm...not too sure about their relationship, a while good, a while bad. Not sure what Celina really wanted. Am not in the position to give inputs, no experience. Hope she will be coping well. She has been really independant. I believe it's God plan for her to join UKM instead of USM...God is working in her, indeed He is...and will, forever.
5.28pm, Thurs. Waiting to go to Pfizer talk. Today is okie. Had a discussion with Mr Koh and Ivan regarding repositioning of counters. Earlier on, Ivan insisted to maintain counter 1, 4 and 8. But I have different proposal, to help the Pharmacy staff work more efficiently. Yeap, the discussion was alright, praise God! Mr. Koh was pretty supportive, with his presence a lot things able to be settled well. Finally I manage to kill 2 birds with one stone. We have decided to reposition the counters, not only the Dispensing Counters but also the Cashiers..and to renovate the area, gonna have a new look. I hope the solution that we have come out with will come to pass, not just mere talking. I really hope the management will do what they had promised. Today was alright, discussion is good, work as usual. Waiting for Pfizer talk later in the evening, not sure what I'm gonna do here. Another 2 hours to go, so doing some blogging. Celina went back yesterday, with Brandon. Hmm...not too sure about their relationship, a while good, a while bad. Not sure what Celina really wanted. Am not in the position to give inputs, no experience. Hope she will be coping well. She has been really independant. I believe it's God plan for her to join UKM instead of USM...God is working in her, indeed He is...and will, forever.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Transparency, accountability
29th July 2006,
1.21pm Saturday. Yeap, half day. Today's patient load is not that high, quite relief now. Very tired, sleep around 2 am yesterday nite. I attend JOC yesterday, Andrew lead the group, sharing on JOC mission and vision- Transparency, sharing on Ps139. I couldn't find the place, round the taman for many many rounds- finally give up, call Andrew to help give direction. JOC have a strong worship. I enjoyed the worship the most, it boost everyone before the sharing- this will make sharing easier to absorb by members. Sleep at 2 am, tired but it's worth the time spent. Had a drink with Andrew after CG, has been a while since the last time meet. I'm blessed, to know him...and appreciate his openness and willingness to share his life experience with me. God has been working well, and His fingerprint is so real in his life, for this I'm thankful...Thanks Andrew, for being my brother!
Last week sermon Pr. shared his heart out in regards to transparency among Christian, it's after Men's Retreat. ACTS also stressed on transparency, and CG do talk about that as well. It seems that this week is what the Lord wants to deliver on the message on transparency.
James 5:16 is the main verse:
16Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].Amplified Bible
It teach us how we should pray? Openly, privately, accountability to one another. All sins and fall short of God's glory. Everyday we're sinning, unconciously or conciously. And many times the devil use the sins to threaten us, condemn us. It's so difficult to be victorious over sins. James 5 is so relevent- to confess to one another of our fault (Amplified Bible), trespasses (NKJV), and PRAY for one another- talk about support, accountability, so that you may be HEALED and RESTORED. The earnest prayer (heartfelt, continued, fervent) is dynamic. That is from Amplified Bible. Accountability with one another, the support and prayer by fellow Christian will lift up the burdens, and lead us to go on, to press on for His Glory- to be accountable for us to grow.
I'm asking myself- do I have any accountable friends? What is the step towards transparency and accountability? First- the trust, common ground, it take humility to tell others our sins, our wrongdoing, it takes effort to open up, to trust and to be vulnerable...and for one I'm sure I am not. I rarely open up. Most of the time, others open up to me- is it to do with pride? Or it's just that I'm chossy. Just too chossy on the person for me to share?
Yes Lord, I've heard of Your Word, how important for us to be transparent, not of being hypocrite, but be openned and transparent with one another. Father, I'm open before you, I'm transparent before you, I tear all the walls open and laid it bare before You. You know my struggles... You have searched me and known me, You know my sitting down and my rising up, You understand my thought afar off.. You know it all, I'm willing Lord, first to be transparent before You, acknowledge my sins and shortcoming before You, Lord help me, restore me to Your purpose, lead me to Your everlasting.
1.21pm Saturday. Yeap, half day. Today's patient load is not that high, quite relief now. Very tired, sleep around 2 am yesterday nite. I attend JOC yesterday, Andrew lead the group, sharing on JOC mission and vision- Transparency, sharing on Ps139. I couldn't find the place, round the taman for many many rounds- finally give up, call Andrew to help give direction. JOC have a strong worship. I enjoyed the worship the most, it boost everyone before the sharing- this will make sharing easier to absorb by members. Sleep at 2 am, tired but it's worth the time spent. Had a drink with Andrew after CG, has been a while since the last time meet. I'm blessed, to know him...and appreciate his openness and willingness to share his life experience with me. God has been working well, and His fingerprint is so real in his life, for this I'm thankful...Thanks Andrew, for being my brother!
Last week sermon Pr. shared his heart out in regards to transparency among Christian, it's after Men's Retreat. ACTS also stressed on transparency, and CG do talk about that as well. It seems that this week is what the Lord wants to deliver on the message on transparency.
James 5:16 is the main verse:
16Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].Amplified Bible
It teach us how we should pray? Openly, privately, accountability to one another. All sins and fall short of God's glory. Everyday we're sinning, unconciously or conciously. And many times the devil use the sins to threaten us, condemn us. It's so difficult to be victorious over sins. James 5 is so relevent- to confess to one another of our fault (Amplified Bible), trespasses (NKJV), and PRAY for one another- talk about support, accountability, so that you may be HEALED and RESTORED. The earnest prayer (heartfelt, continued, fervent) is dynamic. That is from Amplified Bible. Accountability with one another, the support and prayer by fellow Christian will lift up the burdens, and lead us to go on, to press on for His Glory- to be accountable for us to grow.
I'm asking myself- do I have any accountable friends? What is the step towards transparency and accountability? First- the trust, common ground, it take humility to tell others our sins, our wrongdoing, it takes effort to open up, to trust and to be vulnerable...and for one I'm sure I am not. I rarely open up. Most of the time, others open up to me- is it to do with pride? Or it's just that I'm chossy. Just too chossy on the person for me to share?
Yes Lord, I've heard of Your Word, how important for us to be transparent, not of being hypocrite, but be openned and transparent with one another. Father, I'm open before you, I'm transparent before you, I tear all the walls open and laid it bare before You. You know my struggles... You have searched me and known me, You know my sitting down and my rising up, You understand my thought afar off.. You know it all, I'm willing Lord, first to be transparent before You, acknowledge my sins and shortcoming before You, Lord help me, restore me to Your purpose, lead me to Your everlasting.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine
28th July 2006,
5.14pm, Friday. Thank God for Fri...it's gonna be weekends, great! Yeap, today is Friday, and Fri is a CG day. So which CG am I gonna be visiting today? I'll join Jars of Clay (my little brother's CG). Mum not at home, she's on her way driving to Bro's place for dinner. I won't join them- will be going back home eat Maggie Mee :P Then go Pr. Mei's hse for CG.
This week has been a good week. My heart rested well, doing ACTs every night before sleep helps me in the Words. Learning to pray for others and the needs, looking beyond my own needs. Visited Ps Prem yesterday, he wasn't well, diagnosed with AML and looks pretty depressed. I truly understand how it feels. It's never easy going through such trials, pain and suffering. But all intended for some reason. Yes, all things work for good for those who love God, all things. That should be the assurance we have. To persevere on the life on earth, thru' persecution, suffering and pains- knowing that as we trust and hold on the faith, God will bring us higher. Sometimes we just wonder why bad people always escape, good people always suffer. The rich get richer, the poor poorer. It's heart wretching isn't it? Yet, the assurance of God is there, He is Sovereign, He is in control, He has made all things beautiful in His time. Press on the race, knowing that the prize is heavenward in Christ.
5.14pm, Friday. Thank God for Fri...it's gonna be weekends, great! Yeap, today is Friday, and Fri is a CG day. So which CG am I gonna be visiting today? I'll join Jars of Clay (my little brother's CG). Mum not at home, she's on her way driving to Bro's place for dinner. I won't join them- will be going back home eat Maggie Mee :P Then go Pr. Mei's hse for CG.
This week has been a good week. My heart rested well, doing ACTs every night before sleep helps me in the Words. Learning to pray for others and the needs, looking beyond my own needs. Visited Ps Prem yesterday, he wasn't well, diagnosed with AML and looks pretty depressed. I truly understand how it feels. It's never easy going through such trials, pain and suffering. But all intended for some reason. Yes, all things work for good for those who love God, all things. That should be the assurance we have. To persevere on the life on earth, thru' persecution, suffering and pains- knowing that as we trust and hold on the faith, God will bring us higher. Sometimes we just wonder why bad people always escape, good people always suffer. The rich get richer, the poor poorer. It's heart wretching isn't it? Yet, the assurance of God is there, He is Sovereign, He is in control, He has made all things beautiful in His time. Press on the race, knowing that the prize is heavenward in Christ.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Life Application Bible, NKJV
25th July 2006,
Yeap..that's right, I finally bought the Study Bible, cool! Hmm..I have 2 bibles both given by Celina, and now finally got my own. Will need to make the fullest use of it. I've wanted to start afresh, in Bible reading- back up with the Sword, the WOG to able to grow strong, to be a better person. ACTS is very much powerful tools, ..indeed Ps. Sam has put a lot effort in this, preparing the material, very practical approach.
Today supposed to be audit by the Ministry of Health, but they postponed the visit to tomorrow. I did not do much, probably coz I didn't feel the pinch, quite experience from the previous accreditation. Work has been quite routine, normal- nothing much challenging. For some it's a good thing, not so much of stress, have some life. For me, it's okie, but without putting more efford to keep me occupied, I'll end up complacent and lazy...I hope not. Yes, am waiting for new system e-THIS, new coding, new structure. Confirmed to implement by 31th Auguest. Can't wait for it. My CDR Unit, hopefully by end of the year able to set it up properly. Delegation so far so good. Staff response well, not sure about Magdalene..hope she can cope without Charmine. I have 2 students with me now, 1 Pharmacy Student, a guy another Medical student. I thank God for this 2 students, very hardworking- didn't count much, do whtever seniors asked to do. Hope the attachment in GMC will provide good experience and additional practical knowledge for their future use.
Well, Tuesday- nothing much, going back have lunch, then spend time with mum, doing reading and rest. Not much of activities with church friends, only weekends. Cell Group...still not sure, thinking of joining back Desa-U...Benji has take up the CGL role, wanting to support, yet feel inadequate, as if has been long far off, not sure what to contribute. Still wandering, prayerfully when the right time comes, I'll get back on-track. Praise God!
Yeap..that's right, I finally bought the Study Bible, cool! Hmm..I have 2 bibles both given by Celina, and now finally got my own. Will need to make the fullest use of it. I've wanted to start afresh, in Bible reading- back up with the Sword, the WOG to able to grow strong, to be a better person. ACTS is very much powerful tools, ..indeed Ps. Sam has put a lot effort in this, preparing the material, very practical approach.
Today supposed to be audit by the Ministry of Health, but they postponed the visit to tomorrow. I did not do much, probably coz I didn't feel the pinch, quite experience from the previous accreditation. Work has been quite routine, normal- nothing much challenging. For some it's a good thing, not so much of stress, have some life. For me, it's okie, but without putting more efford to keep me occupied, I'll end up complacent and lazy...I hope not. Yes, am waiting for new system e-THIS, new coding, new structure. Confirmed to implement by 31th Auguest. Can't wait for it. My CDR Unit, hopefully by end of the year able to set it up properly. Delegation so far so good. Staff response well, not sure about Magdalene..hope she can cope without Charmine. I have 2 students with me now, 1 Pharmacy Student, a guy another Medical student. I thank God for this 2 students, very hardworking- didn't count much, do whtever seniors asked to do. Hope the attachment in GMC will provide good experience and additional practical knowledge for their future use.
Well, Tuesday- nothing much, going back have lunch, then spend time with mum, doing reading and rest. Not much of activities with church friends, only weekends. Cell Group...still not sure, thinking of joining back Desa-U...Benji has take up the CGL role, wanting to support, yet feel inadequate, as if has been long far off, not sure what to contribute. Still wandering, prayerfully when the right time comes, I'll get back on-track. Praise God!
Monday, July 10, 2006
Sing a new song to the Lord
10th July 2006,
6.00pm Monday evening. Write my blog before going off to Flame. Later the Desa-U rian will meet up- gonna hv dinner wth Matt before he go off to China. Wah, he's a blessed man- God has really blessed him with wonderful opportunity for climb coaprate ladder.
I reached Pg Airport 7pm, Benji and Jason came to pick me up then we join the rest for dinner. Really tired, but Kl trip was a fruitful one, I learned a lot, and am blessed by the fellowship with ex-SAHC, Lisa and Kawai. Manage to watch a bit from Fire conference CD- on Paul Baloche teaching one session on the heart of worship. I'm amazed on the way he sing to the Lord, yes- sing to the Lord from the heart. To know the scripture, and take out the Scripture and sing, just sing out. Sing praises to Him, worship from the heart. Worship in Spirit and truth....I'm blessed and challenged. Ps. Joseph shared on book of Joshua, how he conquer the land of Ai, and what can we learn from tht. We never can run ahead of God, but to wait for the opportunity, and He will provide the blessings- Blessings from obedient. Settled the sins, deal with the sins before victory come. Holding on and living on the Word of God.
Wake up late today-8.30am, rain so heavily, continuously. I jammed for almost an hour, the cars doesn't seem to move at all, trying to use other route (Jelutong) but end up the same. Finally manage to get to hospital by 10am, wow, that is late. I had lunch with Mr Koh, Japansese food- he treat. He's rather quiet man, and I'm also quiet person, we do talk on some personal things- eg. what we do during weekends, how is the church doing- reaching to Vietnamese, etc. Overall alright. I'm still not comfortable with people th higher authority, yes- respect and also need to treat the person as human...learning. My boss is good boss- never ever pressuring me. Thank God for him. Yup, going off. The guys must be waiting- hopefully not jam. Till then! Bye
6.00pm Monday evening. Write my blog before going off to Flame. Later the Desa-U rian will meet up- gonna hv dinner wth Matt before he go off to China. Wah, he's a blessed man- God has really blessed him with wonderful opportunity for climb coaprate ladder.
I reached Pg Airport 7pm, Benji and Jason came to pick me up then we join the rest for dinner. Really tired, but Kl trip was a fruitful one, I learned a lot, and am blessed by the fellowship with ex-SAHC, Lisa and Kawai. Manage to watch a bit from Fire conference CD- on Paul Baloche teaching one session on the heart of worship. I'm amazed on the way he sing to the Lord, yes- sing to the Lord from the heart. To know the scripture, and take out the Scripture and sing, just sing out. Sing praises to Him, worship from the heart. Worship in Spirit and truth....I'm blessed and challenged. Ps. Joseph shared on book of Joshua, how he conquer the land of Ai, and what can we learn from tht. We never can run ahead of God, but to wait for the opportunity, and He will provide the blessings- Blessings from obedient. Settled the sins, deal with the sins before victory come. Holding on and living on the Word of God.
Wake up late today-8.30am, rain so heavily, continuously. I jammed for almost an hour, the cars doesn't seem to move at all, trying to use other route (Jelutong) but end up the same. Finally manage to get to hospital by 10am, wow, that is late. I had lunch with Mr Koh, Japansese food- he treat. He's rather quiet man, and I'm also quiet person, we do talk on some personal things- eg. what we do during weekends, how is the church doing- reaching to Vietnamese, etc. Overall alright. I'm still not comfortable with people th higher authority, yes- respect and also need to treat the person as human...learning. My boss is good boss- never ever pressuring me. Thank God for him. Yup, going off. The guys must be waiting- hopefully not jam. Till then! Bye
Sunday, July 09, 2006
About to end...good trip!
9th July 2006,
12.10am Sunday morning. Lisa just went back. Lisa is a lady I meet when I visit Kawai's CG. Surprisingly it's not the 1st time that I meet her. I think I've attended her church_Grace Assembly couple years back when I visit Kenneth and Sarah. It's a small world- she know Li Gean and Viveene from FGC, my hometown church. Today conference was really taxing. I missed the 1st plenary in the morning because I overslept. Pretty tired. After the conference, take few minutes nap- then meet up with Lisa and eat at Mc-D. It's always nice to have gathering with Christian. She shared a lot to me, about what she learned during the Elijah Home, about Fathely love. The message quite similar to what Ps. Sam preached during Father's Day. I'm blessed to be reminded of the message again. Indeed good time. Each time before she leave she will pray with me. I'm amazed to see such caring and passionate lady, that desire to love God and make Him to be known.
Yeah, tomorrow is Sunday. Will miss church in Penang. Will not able to attend "Too close Too soon" seminar..wow, can escape from tht, good. Have been attending quite a number of the Singles talk, should be enough I guess. Yeah, will be visiting Lighthouse Fellowship tomorrow- hope I can wake up early tomorrow and get a right train to Taman Bahagia. This time don't want to take cab- previous experience has not been a pleasant one. Yeah, got to sleep- tomorrow church, got to be prepared for powerful message by Ps. Joseph, alright, bye Legend Hotel Room#1710, computer :P Nite!
12.10am Sunday morning. Lisa just went back. Lisa is a lady I meet when I visit Kawai's CG. Surprisingly it's not the 1st time that I meet her. I think I've attended her church_Grace Assembly couple years back when I visit Kenneth and Sarah. It's a small world- she know Li Gean and Viveene from FGC, my hometown church. Today conference was really taxing. I missed the 1st plenary in the morning because I overslept. Pretty tired. After the conference, take few minutes nap- then meet up with Lisa and eat at Mc-D. It's always nice to have gathering with Christian. She shared a lot to me, about what she learned during the Elijah Home, about Fathely love. The message quite similar to what Ps. Sam preached during Father's Day. I'm blessed to be reminded of the message again. Indeed good time. Each time before she leave she will pray with me. I'm amazed to see such caring and passionate lady, that desire to love God and make Him to be known.
Yeah, tomorrow is Sunday. Will miss church in Penang. Will not able to attend "Too close Too soon" seminar..wow, can escape from tht, good. Have been attending quite a number of the Singles talk, should be enough I guess. Yeah, will be visiting Lighthouse Fellowship tomorrow- hope I can wake up early tomorrow and get a right train to Taman Bahagia. This time don't want to take cab- previous experience has not been a pleasant one. Yeah, got to sleep- tomorrow church, got to be prepared for powerful message by Ps. Joseph, alright, bye Legend Hotel Room#1710, computer :P Nite!
Saturday, July 08, 2006
3rd PENSMA Biennial Congress: Nutritional Support, Legend Hotel, Kuala Lumpur
7th July 2006,
12.08am Saturday morning. I just got back from gathering with old classmates: Kok Keong, Andrew, Jenny and Sim Wooi. It was a great gathering, after so long didn't meet. I enjoy the time chatting and as usual the jokes. Yeah, today is 1st Day of the conference. So far so good, I learn quite some bit about TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrition) even though we're not into such service in GMC.
I was pretty tired. Yesterday (Thurs) flight supposed to be 7.25pm but delayed to 10.00pm. By the time we reach Legend Hotel, it's already past midnite: 12.45pm. Then another bad experience. The hotel gave me wrong room. My ascess card could not open the door because there was someone inside. I can hear the snoring. Called up the Hotel staff twice before they finally arrange another room for me. By the time all settled it was real late: 1.30am. Anyway, cool! I have a free internet ascess here. Even though the computer is not Window based, but I can still surf and ascess to mailbox. That is why I'm here, middle of the nite blogging all the way through.
Today seminar pretty okie, few of the session I almost doze off, but with coffee manage to keep my eyes open. Fresenius Kabi sponsored quite a number of people from Penang. Most of the people were from Government side- Dr. Luah, and co. only 2 of us from private: Ms. Chen (Adventist Hospital Head of Pharmacy) and myself. Ganesh was sponsored by Braun. We had same flight, and it's good time for bonding and sharing of experience. Ms Chen always my role model in private healthcare. A lot people afraid of her, yet there's still respect in terms of her way of handling work- very discipline and no no to play a fool with.
After the seminar, I went to gym, had a quick workout and then come back freshen up to join the gathering. I was very encouraged to hear Andrew joinign fulltime ministry. He's now a Children Pastor in SIB church in KL, near Eastin Hotel. Only a few people that I'm close with during Form 6 time: Jenny, Keong and Andrew. We chatted in Kopitiam Restaurant, Sri Hartammas- and we just saying that time was so fast that we're now so old. Can't believe we're reaching 30's soon, and some already in their 30's. Oh No! I can't imagine myself in 30's, another more year I'll be nenek.....Oh No!
I was really tired. Just now sis called- she shared with me on the possiblity of breaking up with her bf. Again??!! I was pretty unhappy with the decision, as if she has been going around many relationship and none has been successful. Most of the time she is the one rejecting the relationship, probably have not found a "right" person, or is it something to do with expectation. Hmmm...I wonder my case, I've not been in any relationship before- can't believe it yeah? That's right, never into any relationship. Most of the time I was the one that clapping one hand, a few times- sensing someone that attract to me, but know not suitable- keeping a distance. I wonder how will my relationship be? Well, as for me, of such time, relationship will lead to marriage, or else better to stay single.
12.30am, am tired, gonna logoff. Thank you Lord for the day.
12.08am Saturday morning. I just got back from gathering with old classmates: Kok Keong, Andrew, Jenny and Sim Wooi. It was a great gathering, after so long didn't meet. I enjoy the time chatting and as usual the jokes. Yeah, today is 1st Day of the conference. So far so good, I learn quite some bit about TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrition) even though we're not into such service in GMC.
I was pretty tired. Yesterday (Thurs) flight supposed to be 7.25pm but delayed to 10.00pm. By the time we reach Legend Hotel, it's already past midnite: 12.45pm. Then another bad experience. The hotel gave me wrong room. My ascess card could not open the door because there was someone inside. I can hear the snoring. Called up the Hotel staff twice before they finally arrange another room for me. By the time all settled it was real late: 1.30am. Anyway, cool! I have a free internet ascess here. Even though the computer is not Window based, but I can still surf and ascess to mailbox. That is why I'm here, middle of the nite blogging all the way through.
Today seminar pretty okie, few of the session I almost doze off, but with coffee manage to keep my eyes open. Fresenius Kabi sponsored quite a number of people from Penang. Most of the people were from Government side- Dr. Luah, and co. only 2 of us from private: Ms. Chen (Adventist Hospital Head of Pharmacy) and myself. Ganesh was sponsored by Braun. We had same flight, and it's good time for bonding and sharing of experience. Ms Chen always my role model in private healthcare. A lot people afraid of her, yet there's still respect in terms of her way of handling work- very discipline and no no to play a fool with.
After the seminar, I went to gym, had a quick workout and then come back freshen up to join the gathering. I was very encouraged to hear Andrew joinign fulltime ministry. He's now a Children Pastor in SIB church in KL, near Eastin Hotel. Only a few people that I'm close with during Form 6 time: Jenny, Keong and Andrew. We chatted in Kopitiam Restaurant, Sri Hartammas- and we just saying that time was so fast that we're now so old. Can't believe we're reaching 30's soon, and some already in their 30's. Oh No! I can't imagine myself in 30's, another more year I'll be nenek.....Oh No!
I was really tired. Just now sis called- she shared with me on the possiblity of breaking up with her bf. Again??!! I was pretty unhappy with the decision, as if she has been going around many relationship and none has been successful. Most of the time she is the one rejecting the relationship, probably have not found a "right" person, or is it something to do with expectation. Hmmm...I wonder my case, I've not been in any relationship before- can't believe it yeah? That's right, never into any relationship. Most of the time I was the one that clapping one hand, a few times- sensing someone that attract to me, but know not suitable- keeping a distance. I wonder how will my relationship be? Well, as for me, of such time, relationship will lead to marriage, or else better to stay single.
12.30am, am tired, gonna logoff. Thank you Lord for the day.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Arguement, Confrontation never a pleasant thing
5th July 2006,
5.49pm Had a bad day, again- arguement with Choong. Dr Hafiz called up to check on the drugs- he suspect pharmacy give wrong instruction on drugs- warfarin. The patient INR reduce to 1.1, and he suspect the patient underdose. I check up the prescription- found out that the dose is 3mg, bottle is 2mg one tab once daily. I look at who did the error. Never my intention to pint point anyone. It's a team- the whole process wrong- to the whole team should bear the fault, yet 2 escape, did not sign on the Rx.
Choong so upset, heated arguement- saying me targeting her. She refuse to write. I felt so aweful. Whether it's mistake or not- it's not my point. My point is people don't want to take responsibility. I'm just so tired. It's never easy to say something bad in front of others. It always reflect the bad-guy, how bad I am, making others to hate me. I guess the whole department must hate me for being strict with things. I'm just so tired, rather it's better being 2nd pharmacist- or maybe it's my character that God is trying to change- pride? Stubburnness?
I know I should esteem others, praise others when they doing right. Yet I've not try. Maybe that's why people think all are the same, whether do good or not good, whether perform or not. How am I going to handle the staff? The seniors hate me so much. I just prayed yesterday- pray for the staff, pray for me to love people, pray for every staff to be blessed; yet now today I experience such unpleasant thing. What is God trying to do? He's meaning something with me. Pray and see changes- trials and fruits? Or don't pray let it go off naturally- no impact- complacent?
Anyhow, I'm standing firm in hIs Word, yes He is working. All things work for good for those who love Him. As long as I do according to His Spirit, His Wisdom, have faith things will change. Oh Lord, help me!
5.49pm Had a bad day, again- arguement with Choong. Dr Hafiz called up to check on the drugs- he suspect pharmacy give wrong instruction on drugs- warfarin. The patient INR reduce to 1.1, and he suspect the patient underdose. I check up the prescription- found out that the dose is 3mg, bottle is 2mg one tab once daily. I look at who did the error. Never my intention to pint point anyone. It's a team- the whole process wrong- to the whole team should bear the fault, yet 2 escape, did not sign on the Rx.
Choong so upset, heated arguement- saying me targeting her. She refuse to write. I felt so aweful. Whether it's mistake or not- it's not my point. My point is people don't want to take responsibility. I'm just so tired. It's never easy to say something bad in front of others. It always reflect the bad-guy, how bad I am, making others to hate me. I guess the whole department must hate me for being strict with things. I'm just so tired, rather it's better being 2nd pharmacist- or maybe it's my character that God is trying to change- pride? Stubburnness?
I know I should esteem others, praise others when they doing right. Yet I've not try. Maybe that's why people think all are the same, whether do good or not good, whether perform or not. How am I going to handle the staff? The seniors hate me so much. I just prayed yesterday- pray for the staff, pray for me to love people, pray for every staff to be blessed; yet now today I experience such unpleasant thing. What is God trying to do? He's meaning something with me. Pray and see changes- trials and fruits? Or don't pray let it go off naturally- no impact- complacent?
Anyhow, I'm standing firm in hIs Word, yes He is working. All things work for good for those who love Him. As long as I do according to His Spirit, His Wisdom, have faith things will change. Oh Lord, help me!
Monday, July 03, 2006
Fly again...
3rd July 2006,
5.48pm, Monday. Yes, I'm flying again- locally, next week to KL for PENSMA conference, followed by another week to Kuching. People said my job is so nice able to travel, yes indeed. Time to relax and out from work, to explore other places, meeting new people. How blessed. Plan to meet up wth old classmates.
Testimony Sunday. I guess EPCC is the only church with Testimony Sunday, and Fathering Pastor Conference. Our church believes in being instrument for God to touch community, nations and to the world. That can be reflect through our commitment in Missions, in Urban Street Outreach, and a lot other community outreach. To know God and make God known throughout the world. Making Jesus the Virtual reality. One time Ps. shared: God is going to do something great in EPCC, taking EPCC to a greater heights..he encouraged us to grasp and catch the vision and flow alongside, to jump in the flow, whether you want it or not, it's gonna come...and yes, indeed true, it's coming. God's annointing is here, so real in EPCC, it's here. How are we response? Those that running and jumping into the flow will just experience the wonderful things, how about those that lag behind?
A question to myself- how have I positioning myself? Hv I jumped in and get into the move? Or am I lagging behind? If I'm lagging behind- then, will I ever able to get in the track again? Mission trip to Nepal has closed- that is so awesome, to see EPCCian so excited to answer the call to reach the unreached- to the far end of the earth. I was contemplating whether to sign up when the church announce on the mission trip- and now it's close. It just dawn upon me that the opportunity will pass very fast if you don't grap it. Time passed- seize the day, seize the opportunity. If there's any tuck in your heart of doing something for God, don't just think and think and think, wait and wait and wait- just jump in the boat, believing God is the one that heed the rowing- He will guide the way.
Am I lagging behind? Move on, believing God will able to give 2nd chance. He will never fail to give us more opportunity. Get the right heart- be obedience to the call He has for you.
5.48pm, Monday. Yes, I'm flying again- locally, next week to KL for PENSMA conference, followed by another week to Kuching. People said my job is so nice able to travel, yes indeed. Time to relax and out from work, to explore other places, meeting new people. How blessed. Plan to meet up wth old classmates.
Testimony Sunday. I guess EPCC is the only church with Testimony Sunday, and Fathering Pastor Conference. Our church believes in being instrument for God to touch community, nations and to the world. That can be reflect through our commitment in Missions, in Urban Street Outreach, and a lot other community outreach. To know God and make God known throughout the world. Making Jesus the Virtual reality. One time Ps. shared: God is going to do something great in EPCC, taking EPCC to a greater heights..he encouraged us to grasp and catch the vision and flow alongside, to jump in the flow, whether you want it or not, it's gonna come...and yes, indeed true, it's coming. God's annointing is here, so real in EPCC, it's here. How are we response? Those that running and jumping into the flow will just experience the wonderful things, how about those that lag behind?
A question to myself- how have I positioning myself? Hv I jumped in and get into the move? Or am I lagging behind? If I'm lagging behind- then, will I ever able to get in the track again? Mission trip to Nepal has closed- that is so awesome, to see EPCCian so excited to answer the call to reach the unreached- to the far end of the earth. I was contemplating whether to sign up when the church announce on the mission trip- and now it's close. It just dawn upon me that the opportunity will pass very fast if you don't grap it. Time passed- seize the day, seize the opportunity. If there's any tuck in your heart of doing something for God, don't just think and think and think, wait and wait and wait- just jump in the boat, believing God is the one that heed the rowing- He will guide the way.
Am I lagging behind? Move on, believing God will able to give 2nd chance. He will never fail to give us more opportunity. Get the right heart- be obedience to the call He has for you.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Over and over again, ...You shower Your Love..
29th June 2006,
Yeah, end of June now. This morning got my payslip, 1/2 month bonus up, cool! Praise God. Next month will be Union discussion. Even though I'm not consider Union member, but if any positive discussion will give benefit to the Management staff as well. I hope that I will be qualify for the pay adjustment, not too sure, coz I'm by contract, so my basic will be the same every year for 3 years.
Just now Benji smsed me, invite me to attend CG tomorrow- will be held at Mawar. Hmmm, one thing I admire about Benji is his willingness, his passion for God's things. Even with his tight schedule, shift work- he will tried to make it for church, for prayer meet, for cell. It's always encouraging to know such passion, standing strong during heavy storm- hanging on to God whatever it takes, a childlike heart to trust God. Benji shared- God gonna do something great in the Cell. Yeah, he has the passion for cell, for people, to take up the Desa-U group when Eric and Matt's away. Holding the fork, standing in the frontline, willing to take the challenge, and allowing God to use him. I felt pretty ashamed of myself, never want to contribute anything for His Kingdom. Always giving excuses. Afraid to commit, afraid to draw near.
I'm always focusing on the weakness, not the strength, the negative and not the positive, the past and not the future- then how am I going to move on? Even with that Daddy still so patiently awaiting, over and over again- He shower His love upon me, like rian from above, He shower His love on me. Thank you Daddy, for bearing with me, patient with all my rebels, gracious and merciful with my undeserving and wretched behaviours. You're so worthy, so so worthy, no one compares to You, no one compares to You, Daddy. You're just so great. Thank You, thank You!
Yeah, end of June now. This morning got my payslip, 1/2 month bonus up, cool! Praise God. Next month will be Union discussion. Even though I'm not consider Union member, but if any positive discussion will give benefit to the Management staff as well. I hope that I will be qualify for the pay adjustment, not too sure, coz I'm by contract, so my basic will be the same every year for 3 years.
Just now Benji smsed me, invite me to attend CG tomorrow- will be held at Mawar. Hmmm, one thing I admire about Benji is his willingness, his passion for God's things. Even with his tight schedule, shift work- he will tried to make it for church, for prayer meet, for cell. It's always encouraging to know such passion, standing strong during heavy storm- hanging on to God whatever it takes, a childlike heart to trust God. Benji shared- God gonna do something great in the Cell. Yeah, he has the passion for cell, for people, to take up the Desa-U group when Eric and Matt's away. Holding the fork, standing in the frontline, willing to take the challenge, and allowing God to use him. I felt pretty ashamed of myself, never want to contribute anything for His Kingdom. Always giving excuses. Afraid to commit, afraid to draw near.
I'm always focusing on the weakness, not the strength, the negative and not the positive, the past and not the future- then how am I going to move on? Even with that Daddy still so patiently awaiting, over and over again- He shower His love upon me, like rian from above, He shower His love on me. Thank you Daddy, for bearing with me, patient with all my rebels, gracious and merciful with my undeserving and wretched behaviours. You're so worthy, so so worthy, no one compares to You, no one compares to You, Daddy. You're just so great. Thank You, thank You!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
June...
28th June 2006,
5.48pm in the office. Have not been writting my blog for a month plus. Nothing much to share. Work is alright, but has been quite routine. Charmine has left, further her study- doing Master in Pharmacy in USM. She has been great colleague, I appreciate her so much, a nice person, pleasant attitude, and eager to learn and to work her best. Too bad she's attached, or else wanna introduce to Marcus:P
As for June, nothing really much. I felt as my life has been fleeting away. Has announced to my Cell that I'm officially released to go other CGs. Many had asked which cell that I planned to join? I have no idea, I really don't know which one. Have been taking long time to float around, and it's really not good, not healthy spiritually. I've been going out a lot with others- A2J, Zionist, those that I'm familiar with, but...I guess it's just not enough, there's just something lacking there. Well, I know I got to do something, not just let time pass and fly away, wasting every moments. Yet, I just don't wanna do anything, allowing the time to drag and passed and on and on. It's really a waste. I searching, wandering what I'm doing? What I'm actually doing right now? Have I been a good steward for Christ? No! I'm not. Have I been a good boss, a testimony to the rest, and point others to Jesus? No, I've not, Have I been a good daughter? No! I'm not.... Pastor's message past few weeks is really good- being son before being a Father. Learn to be sons and daughters FIRST. That's the first call. And the knocking is there, knock knock, my Heavenly Daddy is knocking at the door of my heart each day. It's just me, whether am I ready to let Him in?
Benji's daddy just passed away couple days ago. I'm so shock by the news, a day after Fathers' Day, and a day after we have dinner together. The funeral was solemn, I can feel his heart hurting, I can identify with his feeling, I really can, but I really don't know what to do. We can't do anything, but just pray and stand by him. Thats' all we can do. I miss daddy so much. Reflect back the time of his last breath. Seem so tough outside, but inside just broken, yet life goes on. Yeah, all things work for good for those who loves God, who has been called according to His plan and promises. Yet at this point, I still wonder...what is Your good plan for me? Yes, I know You are good, always good, but wht's next?
Esther smsed and emailed me last week, She want to include me in the intercessors list on the Sri Lanka trip. Oh Gosh...I told her, well..I can pray, but to intercede again? I'm jsut not sure. Anyway, yes...I've agreed to pray and uphold the whole team during their Sri Lanka trip. I guess the Lord is challenging me. Minister to Him before Man, and probably this is where I've lack. I wanna fall in love with Him again....But, ...oh Shirley, there's no "but"....just do it, fall in love with Him again, allow Him to touch you, to pamper you, to love you, receive that love- the love of the everlasting Father...even all may failed but His love Never fails, Never!
5.48pm in the office. Have not been writting my blog for a month plus. Nothing much to share. Work is alright, but has been quite routine. Charmine has left, further her study- doing Master in Pharmacy in USM. She has been great colleague, I appreciate her so much, a nice person, pleasant attitude, and eager to learn and to work her best. Too bad she's attached, or else wanna introduce to Marcus:P
As for June, nothing really much. I felt as my life has been fleeting away. Has announced to my Cell that I'm officially released to go other CGs. Many had asked which cell that I planned to join? I have no idea, I really don't know which one. Have been taking long time to float around, and it's really not good, not healthy spiritually. I've been going out a lot with others- A2J, Zionist, those that I'm familiar with, but...I guess it's just not enough, there's just something lacking there. Well, I know I got to do something, not just let time pass and fly away, wasting every moments. Yet, I just don't wanna do anything, allowing the time to drag and passed and on and on. It's really a waste. I searching, wandering what I'm doing? What I'm actually doing right now? Have I been a good steward for Christ? No! I'm not. Have I been a good boss, a testimony to the rest, and point others to Jesus? No, I've not, Have I been a good daughter? No! I'm not.... Pastor's message past few weeks is really good- being son before being a Father. Learn to be sons and daughters FIRST. That's the first call. And the knocking is there, knock knock, my Heavenly Daddy is knocking at the door of my heart each day. It's just me, whether am I ready to let Him in?
Benji's daddy just passed away couple days ago. I'm so shock by the news, a day after Fathers' Day, and a day after we have dinner together. The funeral was solemn, I can feel his heart hurting, I can identify with his feeling, I really can, but I really don't know what to do. We can't do anything, but just pray and stand by him. Thats' all we can do. I miss daddy so much. Reflect back the time of his last breath. Seem so tough outside, but inside just broken, yet life goes on. Yeah, all things work for good for those who loves God, who has been called according to His plan and promises. Yet at this point, I still wonder...what is Your good plan for me? Yes, I know You are good, always good, but wht's next?
Esther smsed and emailed me last week, She want to include me in the intercessors list on the Sri Lanka trip. Oh Gosh...I told her, well..I can pray, but to intercede again? I'm jsut not sure. Anyway, yes...I've agreed to pray and uphold the whole team during their Sri Lanka trip. I guess the Lord is challenging me. Minister to Him before Man, and probably this is where I've lack. I wanna fall in love with Him again....But, ...oh Shirley, there's no "but"....just do it, fall in love with Him again, allow Him to touch you, to pamper you, to love you, receive that love- the love of the everlasting Father...even all may failed but His love Never fails, Never!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Wednesday...Pretty normal
24th May 2006,
5.22pm. Wednesday- pretty normal. Work is routine. Nothing exciting, dealing with sales and doctors, get a hang of it. Quite alright, ups and downs. Just have to be more focus on the changing in HOC- waiting for Management to give me new space for expansion.
Today not feeling well, got headache. Menses has been over yet not feeling good. Wonder why. Yeah, pharmacist also can get sick- then sick don't wanna take medicine. Tomorrow will be watching Da Vinci Code for the 2nd time. Not pretty like the show, too much of historical inputs, kinda confusing. Maybe this second time will able to understand more.
Oh dear headache, got to go- not much to write. Going off...write soon!
5.22pm. Wednesday- pretty normal. Work is routine. Nothing exciting, dealing with sales and doctors, get a hang of it. Quite alright, ups and downs. Just have to be more focus on the changing in HOC- waiting for Management to give me new space for expansion.
Today not feeling well, got headache. Menses has been over yet not feeling good. Wonder why. Yeah, pharmacist also can get sick- then sick don't wanna take medicine. Tomorrow will be watching Da Vinci Code for the 2nd time. Not pretty like the show, too much of historical inputs, kinda confusing. Maybe this second time will able to understand more.
Oh dear headache, got to go- not much to write. Going off...write soon!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Singapore Trip
23th May 2006,
6.22pm Tues. 2 days back from Singapore. Basically the trip was really exciting and challenging. Working with Singaporean and getting to know their culture and environment, opens up my perspective. Singapore is a nice place to work- with it's systematic, fast pace and higher standrad environement.
I was attached to National Cencer Centre for a week. First day itself seem to be lonely, don't know much people, difficult to connect. Meet up with Olivia and Pentium, seen Pentium's wife. Got the news that Olivia is 4 months pregnant. Hmm...good to catch up. Life goes on, learning the system, learning the skill and technique. Getting to know what the Pharmacist in Sinpaore does. Very much motivating.
Did something brave- exploring Nite Safari on my own, shopping and venturing the area all by myself. Sometimes just feel, wah...am so tough- daring to explore lat night. Nothing much to share here- basically I'm not a person that love to travel and explore new things, I'm more the the homely type- but my job sometimes require me to travel for seminar. I don't mind travelling with frens but not alone. This trip has taught me to learn to enjoy the things I do alone. And probably yes, and I got to learn that. Sometimes, there are things that can be enjoyed doing alone, and there are some with frens.
At this season- I'm learning to handle loneliness. Yeah, Loneliness...I did shared with mum, sometimes, many times- there're this void, loneliness, just couldn't explain it. Never felt it before, it's more crucial at this season. Probably is the distance from God, distance from the fellowships...or it's normal, or is it normal natural thing that most people will surely go thru'...well, I really don't know. People said- Seek God, let God fills you, He complete the void and He satisfied. I understand that, I know...yet it isn't easy for me now. What should I do? How shoudl I positioning myself? Pray, just pray? Just pray..that's the only thing you can possibly do, wait on God, pray- open eye big big, and be yourself. Yeah...another: Delight yourself in the Lord for He will grant you the desire of your heart. That's the first thing to do, to delight in Him, to be satisfied in Him first, and seek Him first- then the rest be added...
Oh Lord, how far I've wander away from You- how far I've been running, and toasting and banging and falling, up and down. How long? How far? So many things Lord- I've gone off too far, can You still rescue me? Too many dirt, a filthy rags I am....how to delight in You Lord? Help me, rekindle that fire again.
6.22pm Tues. 2 days back from Singapore. Basically the trip was really exciting and challenging. Working with Singaporean and getting to know their culture and environment, opens up my perspective. Singapore is a nice place to work- with it's systematic, fast pace and higher standrad environement.
I was attached to National Cencer Centre for a week. First day itself seem to be lonely, don't know much people, difficult to connect. Meet up with Olivia and Pentium, seen Pentium's wife. Got the news that Olivia is 4 months pregnant. Hmm...good to catch up. Life goes on, learning the system, learning the skill and technique. Getting to know what the Pharmacist in Sinpaore does. Very much motivating.
Did something brave- exploring Nite Safari on my own, shopping and venturing the area all by myself. Sometimes just feel, wah...am so tough- daring to explore lat night. Nothing much to share here- basically I'm not a person that love to travel and explore new things, I'm more the the homely type- but my job sometimes require me to travel for seminar. I don't mind travelling with frens but not alone. This trip has taught me to learn to enjoy the things I do alone. And probably yes, and I got to learn that. Sometimes, there are things that can be enjoyed doing alone, and there are some with frens.
At this season- I'm learning to handle loneliness. Yeah, Loneliness...I did shared with mum, sometimes, many times- there're this void, loneliness, just couldn't explain it. Never felt it before, it's more crucial at this season. Probably is the distance from God, distance from the fellowships...or it's normal, or is it normal natural thing that most people will surely go thru'...well, I really don't know. People said- Seek God, let God fills you, He complete the void and He satisfied. I understand that, I know...yet it isn't easy for me now. What should I do? How shoudl I positioning myself? Pray, just pray? Just pray..that's the only thing you can possibly do, wait on God, pray- open eye big big, and be yourself. Yeah...another: Delight yourself in the Lord for He will grant you the desire of your heart. That's the first thing to do, to delight in Him, to be satisfied in Him first, and seek Him first- then the rest be added...
Oh Lord, how far I've wander away from You- how far I've been running, and toasting and banging and falling, up and down. How long? How far? So many things Lord- I've gone off too far, can You still rescue me? Too many dirt, a filthy rags I am....how to delight in You Lord? Help me, rekindle that fire again.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Changi Airport...Going Back
20th May 2006,
It's Saturday 3pm, I'm at Changi Airport...has been a week in Singapore, what an experience. Wow, miss home, miss Malaysia. Singapore experience has been good, learn so much in NCC. Going a lot places- but all by myself, explore my own. Went to Nite Safari, coz everyone asked me to try..well, not bad, but...kinda dark, can't able to capture much picture there. They don't allow to snap with flash, but without flash picture can't be clear.
Experience in NCC is just priceless. I learned a lot on their system and workflow. They had 4 pharmcist, plus Lita will be 5's in Onco unit and another 4 more I guess is in Retail. The pharmacist there pretty busy, with a lot work...wow, I have a lot things in plan for my Onco Unit, hopefully I'll able to make use of what I learn and apply it and improve t in my setting...
Gee...got to get going, dun wanna miss flight. Talk soon. Will post many picture soon. Ta...
It's Saturday 3pm, I'm at Changi Airport...has been a week in Singapore, what an experience. Wow, miss home, miss Malaysia. Singapore experience has been good, learn so much in NCC. Going a lot places- but all by myself, explore my own. Went to Nite Safari, coz everyone asked me to try..well, not bad, but...kinda dark, can't able to capture much picture there. They don't allow to snap with flash, but without flash picture can't be clear.
Experience in NCC is just priceless. I learned a lot on their system and workflow. They had 4 pharmcist, plus Lita will be 5's in Onco unit and another 4 more I guess is in Retail. The pharmacist there pretty busy, with a lot work...wow, I have a lot things in plan for my Onco Unit, hopefully I'll able to make use of what I learn and apply it and improve t in my setting...
Gee...got to get going, dun wanna miss flight. Talk soon. Will post many picture soon. Ta...
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